How Trauma Shapes a Child’s Breath and Nervous System — And How We Can Help Them Heal

By Tami Lysher, Move Into Calm, Studio T Pilates

Breath is More Than Air in and Air Out

Breath is one of the most powerful ways a child’s body and brain stay connected.

Breath is also one of the first things to change when a child has experienced trauma. If you’ve ever noticed a child breathing fast and shallow, holding their breath, or sighing frequently, those patterns aren’t random. They’re often the body’s way of saying: “I don’t feel safe.”

When Trauma Puts the Body on High Alert

When a child experiences something overwhelming — a sudden event, ongoing stress, or a loss — their brain’s survival circuits take over. This is the autonomic nervous system’s way of keeping them alive:

  • Fight or flight mode (sympathetic activation) speeds up the heart and breathing, preparing the body to run or defend.

  • Freeze mode (dorsal vagal shutdown) slows everything down, conserving energy until the threat has passed.

In the moment, these responses are protective. However, if the nervous system becomes stuck in survival mode, the child may continue breathing as if they’re in danger — even when they’re safe.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation.

How Trauma Changes Breath

Trauma can shift breathing patterns in several ways:

  • Shallow, rapid breathing in the upper chest signals the body to stay alert.

  • Tension in the diaphragm makes slow, full breaths difficult.

  • Reduced CO₂ levels from over-breathing can cause dizziness, foggy thinking, or feelings of panic.

These patterns can make it harder for a child to focus, learn, or regulate emotions — because the brain is still getting the message: “We’re not safe yet.”

Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.

The Breath: Nervous System Connection

Breath acts like a remote control for the nervous system. When we take slow, steady breaths, we stimulate the vagus nerve, which tells the body it’s okay to shift into the parasympathetic state — also known as “rest-and-digest.”

In children who’ve experienced trauma, the vagus nerve is often under-engaged, which means it’s harder for them to get back to calm once they’re stressed.

Lehrer, P. M., & Gevirtz, R. (2014). Heart rate variability biofeedback: How and why does it work? Frontiers in Psychology, 5, 756.

Helping a Child Reconnect Through Breath

The good news: Breath patterns can change. The nervous system can relearn safety. Here are some gentle, trauma-sensitive ways to help:

  • Make it a choice, not a command. Forcing deep breaths can feel threatening to a child who’s been through trauma.

  • Co-regulate. Breathe slowly alongside them — your calm rhythm can help guide theirs.

  • Keep it playful. Use Hoberman spheres, bubbles, scarves, or feathers to make breath practice fun and non-threatening.

  • Ground it in movement. Pair breath with gentle stretches or crossing the midline for a deeper sense of safety and connection.

Desautels, L. (2020). Connections Over Compliance: Rewiring Our Perceptions of Discipline.

Why This Matters

When we support a child’s breath, we’re not just helping them calm down in the moment — we’re teaching their nervous system what safety feels like.

Over time, slow, steady breathing strengthens the body’s ability to self-regulate, focus, and engage with the world from a place of curiosity instead of fear.

That’s the heart of Move Into Calm: using breath, movement, and nervous system integration to help children shift from survival to safety — and from chaos to calm.

You can’t change what a child has been through, but you can help shape how their body remembers it. And often, that begins with a single, gentle breath.

Why Taking Risks Is Essential for Children’s Growth

In a world that often prioritizes safety, structure, and predictability, the idea of letting children take risks can feel uncomfortable. But healthy, age-appropriate risk-taking is not only beneficial—it’s essential for a child’s development.

Whether it’s climbing a tree, trying a new activity, speaking up in class, or navigating a social situation, these moments of “trying something new” build the foundation for resilience, confidence, and independence.

Empowering Parents, Caregivers, and Educators to Support Healthy Risk Taking

It’s essential for a child’s development.

Why Risk-Taking Matters

  • Builds Confidence and Resilience
    When children take risks—big or small—they learn to trust themselves. They gain confidence through the experience of trying, failing, adjusting, and succeeding. These moments teach them that setbacks are part of learning, not something to fear.

  • Supports Brain and Nervous System Development
    Risky play activates the brain in powerful ways. It engages problem-solving, decision-making, and sensory processing. When a child balances on a beam or jumps from a step, their nervous system is learning to regulate and adapt. These moments strengthen brain-body connections that support emotional and academic growth.

  • Fosters Independence and Responsibility
    By allowing children to assess situations and make decisions, we empower them to take ownership of their actions. They begin to understand natural consequences, learn to listen to their bodies, and develop critical thinking skills.

  • Encourages Emotional Regulation
    Taking a risk—like raising a hand in class or joining a new game—can be emotionally charged. But when children are supported through these experiences, they learn how to move through discomfort and regulate their emotions in real time.

  • Promotes Joy and Curiosity
    Risk-taking invites adventure. It nurtures curiosity and creativity, allowing children to explore their limits, discover new interests, and experience joy in movement and exploration.

How You Can Support Healthy Risk-Taking

  • Start Small: Let children climb, balance, and explore with supervision—not restriction.

  • Use Encouraging Language: “You’ve got this!” or “I see you’re being careful!” helps them feel supported.

  • Normalize Failure: Mistakes are valuable learning moments. Celebrate effort, not just success.

  • Model It Yourself: Let children see you try new things and manage your own emotions when things don’t go perfectly.

Final Thoughts

As parents, caregivers, and educators, our role isn’t to remove all risk—it’s to create environments where children feel safe enough to try, to stumble, and to grow. Because every leap off a rock, every shaky bike ride, and every brave new world builds a stronger, more confident child.

Let’s raise resilient kids who are ready to face the world—not avoid it.

Curious how it all connects to brain and nervous system development? Reach out to me.

Cultivate greater compassion for students

“Can educators cultivate greater compassion for their students through curiosity and understanding the ripple effects of trauma, so they can increase their efficacy while also maintaining presence and increasing fulfillment (without burnout and resentment)?”

To understand what challenges Pilates teachers face, I posted a question on Facebook about who their most challenging students are. I received over 65 responses. I analyzed the data to find common threads. This article will discuss the “most prevalent challenges.”

 The lack of boundaries was the MOST popular! 
Here are some examples of what people shared:

 ·        Late cancel /no show
·        Verbal abuse towards the instructor
·        Lack of disrespect to the instructor or studio
·        Disrespectful comments toward the instructor's body, weight, and clothing
·        Disruptive behavior before, during, or after class
·        Negative/argumentative
·        Oversharing information 
·        Talkative during class time 
·        Difficulty saying NO to clients 
·        Resistant 
·        Combative

The connection between boundaries and trauma is significant. Trauma can often result from violations of personal boundaries, such as physical or emotional abuse, neglect, or invasion of personal space. Establishing healthy boundaries is crucial for preventing or healing from trauma, as they help create a sense of safety, autonomy, and control in relationships and situations. 

Top Five Basics types of Trauma 

Trauma and the Brain
Trauma can interfere with the parts of the brain that govern fear and stress response, emotional regulation, and executive function, which increases the risk of neurological effects of developing emotional, behavioral, and mental health, especially during childhood trauma.

Trauma and the Nervous System
Trauma pushes the nervous system outside its ability to self-regulate. For many, the nervous system gets stuck in the “on” position. The person becomes over-stimulated, unable to become calm. It creates anxiety, anger, panic, hyperactivity, depression, and fatigue. (The nervous system will be discussed in further detail later in this article).

 Trauma and the Body
Trauma can affect all of the vital systems in the body: nervous, cardiac, circulatory, respiratory, digestive, endocrine, excretory, immune, reproductive, skeletal, and muscular. Trauma creates a disconnection between the self and the body. The physical effects are exhaustion, confusion, sadness, anxiety, agitation, numbness, and dissociation. Over time the body becomes tense, and muscles become constructed. Everyone reacts differently to trauma. 

Trauma and Behavior
Trauma can significantly impact behavior. Individuals who have experienced trauma may exhibit various behavioral responses, including emotional dysregulation, hyperarousal, avoidance, and re-experiencing traumatic memories. These behavioral changes can manifest as mood swings, anxiety, depression, difficulty forming and maintaining relationships, combative and even self-destructive behaviors. 

Lack of boundaries

Lack of boundaries refers to behaviors or situations where individuals have difficulty setting and maintaining personal limits or respecting the boundaries of others. It can manifest in various ways, such as:

1. Overstepping personal boundaries: People may invade someone's personal space, disregard their privacy, or share sensitive information without permission.

 2. Emotional boundary violations: This includes disregarding or dismissing someone's feelings, pressuring them into sharing personal emotions, or failing to recognize emotional limits.

 3. Time and energy management: Individuals with poor boundaries may struggle to manage their time and energy effectively, often overcommitting themselves or allowing others to take advantage of their availability.

 4. Difficulty saying no: People with weak boundaries may have difficulty declining requests or asserting their needs, leading to feeling overwhelmed or exploited.

 5. Inability to recognize others' boundaries: Some individuals may disregard the boundaries of others, imposing their opinions, values, or physical presence without regard for consent or personal space.

 6. Emotional dependency: Lack of boundaries can contribute to emotional dependence on others, seeking constant validation, or needing others to regulate their emotions.

  How Trauma Impacts the Nervous System

 Trauma can have profound effects on the nervous system. When a person experiences a traumatic event, the body's natural stress response system is activated, triggering a cascade of physiological changes. Here are some ways trauma can impact the nervous system:

 Trauma can lead to hyperarousal, in which the nervous system remains in a constant state of alertness—resulting in hypervigilance, difficulty concentrating, irritability, and an exaggerated startle response.

 On the other hand, trauma can also cause the nervous system to enter a state of hyperarousal, where there is a numbing or dissociative response. They create feelings of detachment, emotional numbing, reduced awareness of one's surroundings, and a sense of being disconnected from oneself or others.

Trauma can disrupt the body's stress response system, leading to irregular release of stress hormones such as cortisol and resulting in heightened sensitivity to stress, difficulty regulating emotions, and an increased risk of developing anxiety or mood disorders.  

 Trauma can impact the autonomic nervous system, which controls involuntary bodily functions. It leads to symptoms such as increased heart rate, rapid breathing, sweating, and gastrointestinal distress.

 Trauma can affect brain structures involved in emotional regulation and memory processing, such as the amygdala and hippocampus. They contribute to difficulties in managing emotions, forming new memories, and experiencing intrusive memories or flashbacks.

How can we create a safe and supportive environment that empowers Pilates educators and their clients to establish and maintain healthy boundaries?

 Can we shift our thinking to our client's behaviors rooted in survival mode buried in the subconscious brain? 

 The challenges of students' behaviors are subconscious, as traumatic events directly affect their nervous system. 

 Trauma dysregulates the nervous system leading to difficulty establishing boundaries, perpetuating emotional distress. Healing trauma and setting healthy boundaries are interlinked, aiding nervous system regulation and fostering resilience.

 Setting boundaries when teaching Pilates is essential to maintain a safe and professional environment for you and your students.

 It is crucial to practice presence, both with yourself and your students.

Teaching with curiosity, empathy, compassion, understanding, and open communication is essential in supporting all individuals to regain control over their boundaries, safety, and well-being.

 Empower the students by giving them the freedom to choose and allowing them to have a voice, which in turn encourages them to be more active and expressive.

Asking, I wonder what happened to them instead of judging or assuming. 

 Self-care is vital to avoid burnout and resentment.

Communicate the rules, expectations, and guidelines of your Pilates class to your students from the beginning.

 Maintain professional and respectful behavior during class, avoiding personal or inappropriate discussions.

 Be cautious about physical contact during corrections, and always ask for permission before making adjustments.

 By setting clear boundaries, you create a positive and professional atmosphere that fosters connection, resiliency, and growth for both the student and the teacher. 

Tami’s Story

On October 31, 2006, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was one of the lucky ones as my doctor and I caught it early. And because my cancer was slow-growing, I also had the time to explore multiple treatment options. This gave me a sense of control over my body even though I was scared. 

That’s not to say that it was easy for me to come to a complete acceptance and understanding of my diagnosis. In fact, it was extremely difficult. I had always exercised regularly and maintained a healthy diet. For years, however, I was in a toxic relationship. And as research at the time showed that stress could increase a person’s chance of a cancer diagnosis*, I struggled with the knowledge that my past relationship might have been more harmful to me than I originally had thought.

It has taken time for me to heal and recover from my physical and emotional scars. I am so very grateful to my doctor and the medical team who cared for me. And having my family and friends to support me, helped me feel like I wasn’t alone.

Breast cancer wasn’t a death sentence for me. 15 years after the diagnosis, I am able to watch my grandchildren grow and my daughters thrive. I feel like I’ve been given a second chance. Because of this, I want to share my story so that my others might be able to find support and comfort in it during their own journey, whether they are fighting the battle with breast cancer, or supporting another in this fight.

For those who are facing breast cancer right now, you are NOT alone. Remember to nurture yourself and surround yourself with a caring support group. Creating a balance between home, family, career, side hustle, relationships, and everything else is key during treatment and recovery. Healing and rest are so important, not only for your physical body but also for your mental health. Surrounding yourself with loving, supporting people will help you stay strong.

In conclusion, each one of us has known someone who's been affected by breast cancer. Creating awareness, education, and encouraging women to conduct monthly self-exams and schedule mammograms, when needed, is taking a proactive approach for breast health. Self-care is essential, not selfish!

* “Although stress can cause a number of physical health problems, the evidence that it can cause cancer is weak. Some studies have indicated a link between various psychological factors and an increased risk of developing cancer, but others have not.

Apparent links between psychological stress and cancer could arise in several ways. For example, people under stress may develop certain behaviors, such as smoking, overeating, or drinking alcohol, which increase a person’s risk for cancer. Or someone who has a relative with cancer may have a higher risk for cancer because of a shared inherited risk factor, not because of the stress induced by the family member’s diagnosis.” https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/feelings/stress-fact-sheet