👉My appearance has always been significant to me. I NEVER left home without my outfit matched from head to toe, with a matching purse and make-up.
👉The clothes I wore have ALWAYS been designer brands.
👉My hair has ALWAYS been cut, colored, and styled on a 4-week schedule. But even when I left home daily, my hair was still done.
👉My nails were manicured by nail tech bi-weekly for years , complete with a fill-in and pedicure.
👉I controlled my diet by not eating a lot of calories. Or if I did eat a large amount of food, I would exercise!
Does any of what I stated resonate with you❓
Outwardly I had it all together, but inwardly emotionally, I was a mess. I lacked setting boundaries with everyone in my life. I was emotionally numb, disconnected from emotions, and people-pleasing. I didn't want to disappoint people or have them mad at me.
💪🏻💪🏻I invested in all kinds of fitness continuing education courses or classes:
Yoga - MANY pieces of training, for both adult and children
Pilates - MANY details of movement as well.
TRX® Suspension Training
Spinning
Barre
I took these courses to make me a better instructor with more certifications. Or, was it for me to increase my worth on paper? Or a fear of failure, lack of confidence, and not being adequate in my teaching skills?
⭕️Perfectionism is a survival strategy in which we attempt to keep ourselves safe by not allowing others to see our weaknesses.⭕️
The turning point for me was teaching courses on trauma. It was only then that I began to realize I was too was affected by trauma. I began applying what I was teaching. Little by little, my healing began to move deeper inward. At each stage, I felt like an onion, peeling back the layers. Recovery is very individualized, not linear, and can be emotionally challenging.
As a result of healing, my trauma and my TEACHING began to change. I began to create deeper connections with my students. I became more confident in my teaching skills, in creating a safe, trusting environment for my students to explore the healing bodies through movement, befriending their bodies, nervous system, grounding, and creating a renewed relationship with their bodies.
All of us have a story to tell. Your account may be empowering to someone else to hear. Have you shared your story on paper or with a close friend? Or are you afraid to tell your story?